The path to self-acceptance.
“Too fat”, “too skinny”, do these terms make sense? Let us free ourselves from the models and stereotypes of beauty that humankind has imposed on itself. Welcome to the 21st century! Fashion photos, bus shelter advertisements and posters of Photoshopped silhouettes don't help us appreciate ourselves in the mirror. However, no one is perfect! And in the name of what perfection should we look like a model, no matter how pretty she is? What code, what fashion? Those that are imposed on us? One day lean, the next round?
From a very young age, I was wrongly described as “skinny” (I hate that word – heard too much since I was born), or I saw my difference openly pointed out through disrespectful remarks about my physique. This frightened my parents who were afraid that I would suffer. Fortunately, I have never been affected to the point of being self-conscious. I always felt relatively comfortable with my body shape: skinny to the point of appearing skinny, I was simply on the fringes of the average. Unfortunately, among ordinary people, singularity scares and arouses pettiness and intolerance. I am indignant at this lack of discernment which makes me deeply angry. Our constitution is given to us, offered. Let's not offend anyone unnecessarily and thank nature for making us so different.
Body harmony and self-confidence
Beyond the criteria of fashion beauty - long legs, bust and breasts, head position, muscles... - the harmony of a body actually comes down to self-confidence. The danger is to confuse difference and imperfection.
We are made up of subtleties, of details. Our harmony is totally unique, it is powerful, just like meeting others, who appreciate us at first sight, smile at us at the corner of a street, a store, an evening with friends. Sometimes all it takes is a calming sign and our face opens. This is how we gain confidence and how it gradually transforms into strength.
Whatever our age, whether very young at school, adolescent or adult, our personal development requires acceptance of ourselves and our own uniqueness. It is our uniqueness that makes our identity and our charm.
Our body, our ally
We sometimes talk about a person who is “good in their skin”, or “good in their shoes”. She exudes a joy of living, a certain serenity. Often all it takes is a few rewarding moments, family support, a friend, a new job, a new step and we embark on the path to self-esteem. It is then that, naturally, our body becomes our ally, our best friend, the mirror of our good mood and we decide to do it good. We become more conciliatory, less harsh with ourselves, more open and attentive to our true needs.
I tamed myself very young. I completely accepted my very thin arms, my huge mouth and my “wire” side. The practice of yoga has finally convinced me of the value of the body that is mine. Start by taming yourself, making the simple effort to look at yourself differently by turning to the essential: taking care of yourself. It then becomes easier to take care of your body and respect it through good nutrition and regular physical activity.
Yoga opened the path to self-confidence for me; it helped me conquer myself and make me more sure of myself. Because whatever the difficulties encountered, asserting yourself and having confidence in yourself is above all finding your unity, in that your body and your mind form a whole, inseparable. They flourish together and improve to the point of no longer receiving the critical eye of the other but of attracting sympathy.
Whatever the codes, the image we want to project, the efforts we want to make to be beautiful, femininity and its radiance come from much further. They come from our own acceptance and knowledge of ourselves, our maturity and our ability to feel free from the gaze of others and to no longer be afraid of their judgment.
Buddhism teaches us to detach ourselves from samsara , that is, negative thoughts that can affect us. The love we receive and the love we offer, to be positive and constructive, requires respect for the person and their personal development. Hasty judgments and dominant words should be banned. Buddhism teaches us to reject anger, attachment (possessiveness, jealousy, dependence) and ignorance (loss of self-confidence) and to nourish our friendly and loving relationships through dialogue, exchange and the respect. Because we are all worthy of being loved and feeling beautiful.
Alexandra Rosenfeld